It is very common for some couples to start great and as the time passes by, the warmness diminish. Fortunately, there are many ways to rekindle the spark in a relationship. However, one study1 finds it is being responsive to the partner that keeps sexual desire high in couples.
Overall, responsiveness was associated with increased desire, but more strongly in women. Feeling special and perceived partner mate value explained the responsiveness-desire link, suggesting that responsive partners were seen as making one feel valued as well as better potential mates for anyone and thus as more sexually desirable.
However, all these acts require some sort of responsiveness. And, in the study, researchers find that the level of responsiveness in couples matter meaning how attentive the couple to each other provides “specialness”.
That might not an appropriate word but it simply means keeping your partner feel special and vice-versa. In this study, researchers find that such level of responsiveness links to high sexual desire between the couple.
Although sexual activity is the only ingredient to a happy and successful relationship, it certainly adds excitement. In fact, sexual frequency as twice a week is optimal as one study finds.
But, if the couple has time and convenience to have frequent sex without disrupting day-to-day activities, it is OK. After all, frequent sex has many benefits such as it makes women smarter and boosts memory function.
Of course, for busy couples, scheduling sex during weekends or holidays is an appropriate idea.
The Study on Couple Responsiveness
The researchers asked 100 couples to keep track of their activities for six weeks through journaling or diaries. Both partners actively record their level of sexual desire on a daily basis. Of course, they also record their perceptions about the responsiveness of their partners.
In their diaries, the couples also wrote how special they felt for each day during the study. Perception towards their partners as mate were also recorded.
At the end of the study, researchers found that when someone feels responsiveness of their partner, it makes them feel special, as well. Moreover, besides feeling special, they also consider their partner as a valuable mate.
All these provide a boost in sexual desire between the couple. Interestingly, although the effect is significant in both men and women, it has a stronger effect on women.
What Exactly Is Responsiveness Means?
It is about paying attention and appreciation to the partner. Particularly, understanding and appreciating each other’s needs. In other words, it is similar to being supported by the partner especially in achieving goals.
Being supportive to a partner is essential in a relationship as it one of the ways of showing care. Regardless of the goals including financial, family and even health goals. The key is understanding each other’s needs and goals.
When both partners discuss these things and each showing care and understanding, it makes the relationship unique and special.
The key to a good communication is listening. A partner’s ability to listen makes the conversation productive without being pre-judgemental. Of course, when it comes to listening, having an open mind is another key.
Practicing responsiveness towards your partner can lead to new things. Moreover, it can lead to discovering new likes and dislikes between partners, as well. Likes and dislikes are not bad as long as both partners understand and talk about.
Moreover, this can also lead to sharing new thoughts and ideas. It is like brainstorming. The good thing about brainstorming between partners is you can talk about anything including intimacy.
On the other hand, this can also help a partner who is not comfortable with being responsive. As long as the other partner understands and help his or her partner become responsive, it always leads to a happy ending.
Of course, the more often a couple do this, this can further develop trust and security. And, perhaps, develop the ability to being responsive to others, as well.