- With or Without A Partner
- Is Masturbation Normal Or Harmful
- Signs Of Abnormal or Harmful Masturbation Behavior
- How To Stop Masturbation Addiction
- Helpful Tips To Overcoming The Addiction
- Final Thoughts
Masturbation is very common these days particularly in younger people, which can sometimes result in addiction. Previously, we’ve covered some of the myths that surround it, but I think it would be better covering the addiction separately as it is completely a different point of view of masturbation.
In its basic form, masturbation is an act of self-stimulation of the genitals for sexual pleasure to the point of reaching sexual climax better known as orgasm. Masturbation can be done through massaging, stroking or touching the penis for men or clitoris for women.
The self-stimulation is done until orgasm is achieved and a sense of sexual tension is released. Sometimes, women used sex toys like a vibrator to help self-stimulate more intensely than just using the fingers.
With or Without A Partner
Masturbation is a very common behavior either on individuals with or without a partner, yet not many people talk about it. In one study conducted by Gloria Brame, PhD., 95% of men and 89% of women admitted having masturbated. For the majority, this act of self-sexual stimulation is the first encounter to experiencing sexual pleasure in both men and women.
Moreover, it is normal for young children to masturbate as part of exploring his or her body, and even others continue to perform masturbation in adulthood or even throughout their lifetime.
Probably, one biggest reason why people masturbate aside from it feels good, it allows the released of sexual tension that can build up over time. This is true especially for those individuals who do not have sexual partners, or perhaps have partners but cannot perform due to certain reasons.
Others choose to masturbate because it is the safest way to avoid risks of STI(sexually transmitted disease) and even avoid pregnancy.
In some medical requirements, men are required to masturbate in order to obtain a sample of semen for testing purposes like fertility tests or sperm donation.
Interestingly, masturbation can be prescribed by a sex therapist to both men and women. Typically, sex therapists ask women to masturbate in order to experience orgasm in women as some women have a hard time achieving sexual climax.
On men, a sex therapist may recommend masturbation to delay ejaculation especially in men who have an issue controlling their ejaculation resulting in releasing semen earlier than desired. Of course, there is a certain masturbation technique that needs to do, and not simply performing masturbation to reach orgasm.
Is Masturbation Normal Or Harmful
Historically, there are lots of drawings of male masturbation found in prehistoric rock paintings. It seems to be our early ancestors have been connected to human sexuality with nature’s abundance. The masturbation trend can also be traced back to ancient Egyptians and Greeks to the late 17th century until today.
As mentioned, this self-sex stimulation is very common. Now, is this normal and benign? There are cultures and religions that prohibit the act of masturbation, and in this case, this is might not be normal for them and doing so can result to feeling guilty or shame about the behavior that can later cause other negative effects on one’s overall self-esteem.
On the other hand, while masturbation was regarded as a sign or perversion of mental problems, today it is considered normal, acceptable, fulfilling, healthy and safe practice to experience sexual pleasure without partner involved.
In fact, the medical community considered masturbation as a harmless and natural way to express sexuality in both sexes. There is no evidence it can cause injury or harm to the body as being part of a normal sexual behavior and when done in moderation.
Signs Of Abnormal or Harmful Masturbation Behavior
- Done publicly
- Causes distress
- Prevents normal sexual activity with a partner
- Can develop premature ejaculation in the long run
- Done compulsively that it interferes with one’s daily regular activities or lifestyle, in general.
All these are symptoms of masturbation addiction. Unfortunately, there are individuals who are addicted to this pleasurable self-sexual stimulation making them act weirdly sometimes. In some cases, if not most of the time, it makes a person problematic without him or her being aware of it.
Certainly, this addiction can be stopped for good. This requires willpower, patience, and persistence in order to overcome the addiction. Just like with other addiction, it mainly involves the brain controlling the behavior.
At this point, it is vital that one is conscious of what he or she wants to achieve, in this case, overcome the addiction to masturbation and bring it to a normal level.
It might not be advisable to quit at all especially for those who do not have partners. At some point on one’s lifetime, experiencing sexual pleasure can be helpful in that it releases the build over time. Hence, overcoming masturbation addiction and bringing it to normal or moderation can be a good and healthy option.
How To Stop Masturbation Addiction
As I’ve mentioned, it may not be advisable to completely ditch the idea of masturbation especially for those who do not have a partner. Personally, the idea is to keep masturbation activity to minimal or should I say at a normal level. Perhaps doing it once or a few times a week would not hurt one’s personality and behavior.
Just as with any problem-solving process, the first thing to do to overcome masturbation addiction is to recognize the issue exist. Check yourself if you experienced certain masturbation behavior abnormalities as mentioned.
It is very common for teenagers to masturbate at least once a day, although others do it a few times a day. Once a day seems normal to some person as long as there are no signs of disturbances interfere on once overall behavior, or else masturbation addiction is very obvious.
The next thing one can do in order to overcome is using willpower. Willpower simply means having the self-discipline, self-control, or grit to resist on something the brain wants you to do, and in this case, masturbation.
This sounds simple, right? Everyone has his/her own willpower, yet for some, it is very difficult to develop and take advantage of this useful faculty of the mind.
Fortunately, psychologist and author Kelly McGonigal got some tips for everyone on how to develop willpower and tap into its unlimited power for achieving anything including the addiction to masturbation. She has 4 tips about how to harness this somewhat neglected capability within us as human.
Watch this video excerpt from her talk at Google.
Helpful Tips To Overcoming The Addiction
Now you know and have the idea how willpower can help to get started on winning the addiction to masturbation. Simply recognizing the existence of the problem and deciding to overcome the addiction are very helpful.
However, there are certain individuals who have difficulty achieving either or both. If this is the case, feel free to consult a professional counselor as he/she can help you achieve recognize the issue and decide to overcome it for good.
Also, refer to these tips that are outlined below in order to be successful on winning and breaking free from your addiction to masturbation.
1. Set Small and Realistic Goals
If you’ve been masturbating once a day for every day for a long time, start with abstaining masturbation for a day. At this point, it is essential to be conscious and resist the urge for a single day without masturbation. At the end of the day, when you achieve a masturbation-free day, thank and praise yourself.
It is in these small successes that you get encouraged and motivated. Do not feel bad if you cannot do it the first time. Simply keep on trying until you do it for at least a day without masturbation.
Once you achieved it(certainly you can achieve it if you keep trying), make that one masturbation-free day to 2 days. Follow the same process as you did when you tried to achieve that one masturbation-free day. Then, increment one more day, and so on until you feel you’ve achieved 7 or 10 days without masturbation.
Now, you can increase your chances of succeeding if you set a certain time when to achieve such a goal. In other words, set a deadline when to achieve it fully. For instance, set 30 days as a maximum to achieving 10 days without masturbation.
Again, be firm about the deadline. In fact, you could better achieve this by marking your calendar and writing a journal about what you have just done.
Do not be discouraged if you fail the first time because you or anyone is not a failure until it is accepted as a failure. Keep trying and every time you try to keep your motivation stronger than before. Eventually, this will develop faith, and you’ll be able to visualize you are successful about what you are doing to stopping the addiction.
2. Exercise Daily
Committing to performing exercise on a daily basis particularly during the evening can be very helpful. When doing regular exercises, it creates a different perspective in your brain to achieve a different goal instead of simply focusing the attention to masturbate.
Plus, if you do exercise during the evening prior to sleep, you will use up the energy, and the idea of masturbating is being diverted because you are tired and simply want to sleep.
It is not an absolute requirement to enroll for a gym membership just to perform the exercise. There are many exercise videos particularly cardiovascular or aerobic exercises available online for free.
Moreover, a brisk walk or a jog can be very helpful if you do not have any idea what workout to perform. Always be conscious to let something occupy your time when the urge presents.
3. Take A Cold Shower
Often, taking a cold shower can let the urge subside. Taking a shower or bath have shown to help calm the mind and body along with other numerous health benefits.
Even washing the face with cold water makes the entire body feels relaxed, but there is nothing better than taking a cold shower if the urge is intense.
If you have an issue(some people do) about masturbating while in the shower, make it short and quick. In fact, you can set a timer on your smartphone to ring after a few minutes indicating you should get off the shower and finish it prior or once the timer rings.
4. Think Of Long-Term Benefits
Looking at a new perspective of stopping or keeping masturbation activity to a normal level can help you develop new healthy habits, and embrace the sense of success every time you wake up early in the morning.
Do you remember the first tip about setting a small and realistic goal? Through these small goals, a whole new and different positive perspective can unfold in front of you, and when it presents take it with respect and embrace it.
Think about your family, friends, and colleagues. What could be better for them if you successfully overcome your abnormal behavior toward masturbation? If they do not know about it, think how embarrassing it is when they discover you are a masturbation addict. Therefore, act right now and work towards working on winning over the addiction.
5. Get Involved In A Relationship
Having someone to be with most of the time makes it easier to forget masturbation than doing it alone. This might not be an all-in-one solution for some, but it does help. Consider spending time with your partner watching a movie, shopping, play sports and have fun.
This is a great mind diversion technique that can significantly help avoid masturbation activity. At the time you get home, you are tired and simply want to sleep, or perhaps enjoy visualizing to those happy moments you have just achieved.
6. Create Mind Diversion Activities
Mind diversion was just mentioned, and it is very helpful whenever there is a need to forget something and do something else instead. When the urge presents intensely, always be alert and conscious so that you can recognize and act on it quickly.
Then, think of something worthy to do and spend time like doing homework, research, doing the work to meet deadlines, or think thoughts of fun like playing sports such as tennis, basketball, football, and even performing workouts.
Additionally, take your mind out of sexual thoughts by listening to classical music, or self-improvement audiobooks.
7. Know The Triggers
Knowing what triggers the urge to masturbate is vital as recognizing it early and quickly makes it easy to avoid doing so. Typically, the urge presents when one is alone and doing nothing. When the human mind is accustomed to doing something, the urge will easily crave and this is true not only in masturbation but on other addiction like smoking.
If being alone is one of your triggers, stay with other people and keep the conversation going. This is another effective diversion technique, in addition to those just mentioned.
Doing meditation or Yoga are great options to divert your attention away from masturbation especially when you are alone.
8. Block Porn Access On Computer
If online porn is one of the major triggers, block all access to porn on your computer. For some individuals, watching such thing online can result to porn addiction, as well. There are lots of porn-blocking software for free.
To make sure you are blocking it definitely, apply a random password that is impossible to remember and save the settings. Keep no written record of the complex password, so there is no way you can re-enter it and access blocked porn sites.
Typically, these software or firewall have a comprehensive list of porn sites and always update on a regular basis.
Doing this will let you focus on things you need to do certain chores like homework, school assignments, and research projects, or other things that entail deadlines.
These are practical tips you can apply if you have masturbation addiction behavior. Perhaps doing masturbation from time to time is not bad at all. In fact, doing it in moderation can have positive effects on health, and knowing various goal-oriented masturbation such as Start-Stop and Squeeze methods can be helpful, as well.
It is not a requirement to do all of these suggested tips. Simply pick the ones that are comfortable for you to get started. Particularly, setting small and realistic goals and knowing the triggers are both helpful in breaking the habit.
As I’ve mentioned, it may not be necessary to forget masturbation habit completely. However, it is essential to know your limits and keep the self-sex stimulation to what is normal to you. Become aware of the abnormalities, and be prepared to recognize and act on them quickly if they present. Just as with any endeavor in life, beating and winning over addiction(in this case masturbation) requires willpower.
Review the tips previously mentioned how to boost willpower. It may be difficult at first, but with patience and persistence, all the difficulty can be overcome easily.
Once, willpower is developed, and a whole new habit is formed, addiction is history plus you will be rewarded with other numerous benefits when it comes to achieving success as positive habits develop a positive personality.
Whenever you feel the world is falling, and the struggle seems difficult to overcome, know that you can seek help at any time. Counselors and sex therapist are available in most areas who trained professionally to handle matters like this.
Do not hesitate to seek help. Everyone needs help at some point in life, so there is nothing to feel shame or embarrass about it as each one of us has our own weaknesses.