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If you’ve been married for…let’s say 8 years and beyond, chances are you and your partner may not be doing well with sex recently compare to the time when you were just dating.
I’m not saying every marriage is stuck in this situation, but the majority are and have a hard time picking up where they’ve last experience the most amazing sexual experience in their life.
If you’re in this situation, it’s not too late and doesn’t get frustrated as I share my personal experience about rekindling those hot bedroom experience during the first time you did it.
1. Bringing Back The A-Ha Moments
It’s a kind of bold claim, right? But, believe me… it’s not, and it’s possible to bring back those amazing A-HA moments with your relationship.
For most couples, watching TV might be a common chore, but honestly, it’s not good especially if you’re watching too much of it.
Besides, watching TV does not really get into many positive outcomes especially if you don’t pick the right shows.
For instance, if a couple has issues in their relationships, the issue can be escalated to some degree.
For instance, If they could not agree on their views about what they’re watching(referring to the negativity of the news or shows) this would make the situation worst.
These are just a few of the examples. Of course, watching TV is just my example above as it’s mostly being reported especially we have lots of options on it including online subscription on movies.
I think you’ll love my idea when you finished reading it because it builds trust, respect, and relationship just like the first time, or during the time you’re dating.
2. Recalling The Excitements
Recall those excitements to see her. Tell her how time flies when you were with her talking. Let the desire be there, present.
This is the reason you get so excited, but as marriage life went by lots of things come and go, issues solved, and not solved.
Now, both of you forget those happy moments you both experienced because you are thinking about some problems, etc.
This is also a big issue for some and can eventually get divorced due to partner not being attentive anymore or wife is not attending to her hygiene and beauty making the husband lost interest, or vice-versa.
I can name more, but I’ll stop at this and get into the heart of the topic.
3. Plan and Invite Your Partner To A Date
Hmmm… you might say, right now… what are you thinking? We have the kids to attend to, and scheduling is a date with someone whom I am with for years is impractical.
Well, guess what! That’s the problem. You’ve forgotten to allocate time for yourselves as a couple to have private moments away from your kids.
Sure, there are ways in which you can bring the kids with you. For instance, going for a family picnic at the beach or riverside with the kids.
The kids can play, then you and your significant other can talk more closely and intimately. And, guess what, talking close to nature tends to bring harmony, so take advantage of it.
Think this for a moment while you’re stealing a page from bachelor’s playbook, then schedule and plan for a romantic trip.
It’s easy for me to recommend the above example as this is what we do at least once a month. We set a day at least once a month for a date, and we go somewhere along with nature.
You could, and I’ve seen a lot of married couples do this dating schedule during valentine’s day, but it’s not necessarily to be that day.
Simply find a comfortable day where you and your partner can get together just like before.
4. Bring Back The Courting Days
When you’re into this, please do the necessary things such as preparing yourself mentally and physically just like the old times when you were just courting her.
Trust me, she’ll do the same and get excited about that. When you schedule such an event, set aside all those problems at work, or family matters that need to be solved.
Soon, you’ll find that difficult issues can be solved easily when the two of you are in perfect harmony.
Of course, you can do sex just as you did when you first did it during a date.
Don’t show it to the kids, of course! But the anticipation is there, the excitement, and when you get back home, good memories still linger.
When you get to this point, you’ll soon find her hot and wild in bed again.
5. Dare and Do
The human brain is hard-wired to seek something different, or should I say adventurous. In sex, especially for a couple, doing the unexpected triggers interest and sexual arousal.
Then, brain secret this amazing hormone called dopamine, which is the pleasure hormone that responds to exciting and new things happening. If you’ve been thinking of flirting with her and you’ve been hesitant, it’s time to do it now. Don’t worry, just do it.
Although, there is one thing you should be aware of before you do what’s on your mind. Make sure she is in good mood, or if she is not in good mood, persuade her by offering something like a cup of tea or coffee, or even handing her a glass of water. Something you think she would like, but she is not expecting.
One of the sweetest things you can do is send her flowers even without any occasion. Or, while you’re arriving home from work greet your wife while wearing a trench coat without wearing anything underneath.
You know what, this can be sexy if you’re in good shape, and this is a good reason to lose weight and get rid of that ugly bulging belly fat. But, if you’re fat, still do the same, it can be funny instead of sexy, and making your wife laugh is a sign she is getting into what you’re up to.
6. Flirt with Your Wife
Now, here’s the fun part. Flirt your wife while she is doing house works like doing laundry, or washing the dishes.
Flirt her, and bring her into sex mood. To be honest, I find the dishwashing area is a hot spot. Stand on her back and do a lot of unexpected sexual-arousing moves like touching and squeezing her breast from the back, hugging and kissing her ears or neck.
If you haven’t done this, try it because it’s very hot and as what I’ve found over 10 years of marriage, my partner tends to like having sex in certain areas where she doesn’t want previously.
And, you might be thinking, it’s just my wife! However, what I’ve learned, it’s not just her. I’ve asked her to ask her friends who are also married for so long into a girl talk like discussing girl matters.
Guess what, they’re all the same and have issues because their husband is not doing anything with it. Married women, your wife is just waiting for you to execute it masterfully.
Well, may not be perfect the first time, but the more you do it anywhere in the house, the better you become of it.
This is the reason why some people like to have sex in the office, public places, and even in the elevator.
7. Rediscover What She Wants
In my previous article rediscovering the woman’s erogenous zones covered how you can tap and leverage the erotic parts of her.
Touch is very magical when it comes to sex. So, use it and take advantage of it in an effort to bring back your fervent memories when you first hold her hands during a date, or at her home while her dad was just a few meters away.
In reality, most couples when going to bed for a night sleep don’t touch each other, or just kiss quickly and say good night.
Well, it’s different if you hold her gently and then tightly with your entire body caressing her with lust and love.
Today, with cell phones, smartphones like iPhones and iPads, there are many couples who spend more time with their gadgets than with their partners.
Tell me if I’m wrong with that! Perhaps, not all, but the majority.
I used to do that tinkering my phone and scanning those messages while my wife is doing the same, and when the time anyone of us getting so sleepy and ready for the night’s rest… good night honey, and I can’t even kiss her because she was busy with friends at social media.
Technology is good but uses it appropriately especially when it comes to a relationship. New smartphones are magnets, and you don’t even know or aware you’re magnetized to it or your partner while you’re somewhat going away from her.
8. Sleep Naked
There are many benefits of sleeping naked. Here’s what you can try with your wife, and for most couple, this technique might have been a while since the last time doing it. Both of you lie naked on the bed without the main purpose of having sex.
Just play around with touching each other and learn if those spots before are still triggers or turn-ons at this time.
Our body changes over time, and those erogenous before may not be as erogenous or erotic to for touching at this point of your marriage for a number of years.
So, rediscover and as a matter of fact, you can try doing what is called OM‘ing(Orgasmic Meditation).
It’s great for reconnecting and rekindling great erotic moments. And, before you do this, please for the sake of privacy turn off all cell phones and other electronic devices that can disturb your intimate enjoyment. Just tune into each other erotically.
You can even do back massage for your partner while both of you are naked.
Don’t worry about the erection you have, just refrain from inserting it right now and just enjoy the moment naked with her without any sexual intercourse.
Doing this also builds up more desires for her and you. In fact, this can be considered as one effective foreplay.
9. Flirt All Day Long
Having sexual intercourse with your wife should not be a duty or routine. Instead, make it fun. Yes, you can have sex with her anytime anywhere in the house without her getting an orgasm as long as she has fun with it.
That’s the difference between considering having sex a duty to your wife, and when you can’t make her orgasm, you feel disappointed and does she.
When you make fun flirting, and having sex to some point, do it. This is where the build-up of trust and openness begins to open and again allowing passionate connections between you and your wife.
Again, I refer to a previous article covering various ways of performing foreplay because it’s not just about kissing and touching while in bed when you’re about to having sex. Foreplay can be done in and out of the bedroom.
In fact, flirting can be considered a form of foreplay, sending playful text messages or tweets to her is a proven trigger for dopamine release, which eventually results to sexual arousal.