Common Reasons More Adults Avoid Having Sex


When it comes to sex, it is unbelievable that there are people who avoid it. But the truth, there are many adults these days who have less sex frequency or avoid it at all. Sex is one of the basic physiological needs.

Today, many consider sex as a core element of one’s social life. And, of course, feeds one’s identity. Although our modern society focuses more on having sex, there is less data on those not having or avoiding sex.

Adults Avoiding Sex

Sexual intimacy having sex, in general, has many health benefits. However, today, there are billions of adults avoiding or not having sex. Avoidance of sexual activity can lead to low-self esteem, shame and emotional distress. These effects can affect both the person who avoids having sex and also for the partner who feels rejected.

Reasons More Adults (Today) Avoid Having Sex

A University of Michigan researcher Shervin Assari is on a mission of finding out the reasons more adults avoid sex whose article first appeared in The Conversation.

People who have regular sexual activities enjoy the benefits including better quality of life and satisfaction, as well as higher self-esteem.

On the other hand, people who engage less in sex1 tend to experience anxiety, depression, psychological distress and even relationship issues2.

Avoiding Sex

The famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that approximately 19% of adults don’t engage in sex. Of course, the percentage varies by marital status and gender. However, he found that nearly no married men go without having sex over a long period of time.

This means that most women tend to avoid having sex. A later study3 confirms that up to 40% of women avoid sex due to sexual pains and low libido.

On gender differences, on the other hand, sexual abstinence starts at teenage years with more females avoiding sex than males4. Furthermore, one of the likely reasons women avoid sex is due to sexual abuse during childhood days. Some women avoid sex due to pregnancy. Although sex during pregnancy is safe, the fear fetus getting harm and miscarriage prevail. Additionally, common reasons women avoid sex is due to lack of interest and fatigue.

Men, on the other hand, among the common reasons for avoiding sex includes lack of opportunity due to career or perhaps, children in the house. But, most men avoid sex due to chronic medical conditions and erectile dysfunction.

Medical Problems Leading To Sexual Avoidance

The top reasons many adults today abstain from having sex are medical issues. Here are the top ones;

What To Do?

Most people are shy to talk about their sexual problems10. But the only way to solve the problem is to seek help.

In some cases, particularly, relationship issues, it would be best to consult a sex therapist. However, when it comes to common sex problems relating to health, consulting your doctor would be more appropriate.

Unfortunately, one of the biggest hurdles people are not talking about their sexual problem is an embarrassment. This is especially true in men. On the other hand, doctors are hesitant11 to ask questions about their patients’ sexual problems. In one study12, patients are more than willing to provide details about their sexual problems during a doctor’s inquiry.

Hence, this is a patient-doctor relationship. If you are the patient, don’t hesitate to tell your doctor about sexual problems. There are higher chances that your doctor already know it but hesitant to ask you. For instance, if you have low back pain, your doctor may not ask you about your sexual fitness. But, if you notice a connection between your back pain and sexual function, it is a good idea to discuss13 it with your doctor.


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